Paloma G.

Air Force Reserve Spouse

Spouses in the Fight

For the last 28 years, my husband has served in nearly every duty status, from Active Duty (AD) to Reserve Component (RC) in the US Air Force, during his 32-year career. Our family remained committed to the military during 20+ years of war, 9 deployments, and 8 PCSs, thanks in part to the support of countless military-connected communities. I had an active front-row seat to every moment, including now with my husband as a retired Veteran and my son a third-year USAFA cadet. It has often been a challenging lifestyle, but it is worth it for the continued success of our military and their families.

Through the years, I’ve noticed a plethora of programs and initiatives that connect military families, but a culture that maintains a gap between Active Duty Members with their Guard and Reserve counterparts. Distance can be destructive, and I wanted to help connect our communities. It took some time to understand and gather resources for what works, but I found 3 common practices among families and units that also shared the highest levels of inclusion, resilience, and support.

The first practice is to seek diverse perspectives from the individuals around you. In highlighting one another’s lived experiences, we discover both commonalities and how added diversity strengthens our toolbox of options. The second practice is intentional inclusion. Consistently inviting all services and families to celebrate and participate in community functions such as religious traditions, social functions, fundraisers, training, promotions/retirements/changes of command, and milestone events like graduations. The third practice was reflection, an intentional effort for each of us to reevaluate biases and misconceptions of other service members regarding their effort, interest, or motivations.

Military spouses are essential to dissolving the unnecessary division between service affiliations. By forming connections across the installation, we can bridge the Reserve - Guard - Active Duty divide, branch divide, and even civilian-military divide. Bridging this gap among military families matters because we all gain strength from a united military community that supports all service members, regardless of service affiliation. We are 1 team, one1fight.